ADHD in Adulthood
By Raechel Callejo, LMFT, LPCC
May 18th, 2025
For many adults with ADHD, life feels like a series of dropped balls, missed deadlines, forgotten appointments, and emotional overwhelm. You might constantly ask yourself, Why can't I just get it together?
But here's the truth: ADHD is not a character flaw. It's a neurological difference that impacts attention regulation, executive functioning, memory, and emotional control—and it often goes undiagnosed until adulthood.
If this is your experience, I want you to know you're not alone—and you're not broken.
What Adult ADHD Really Looks Like
It’s not just hyperactivity. In fact, many adults (especially women) don’t look “hyper” at all. Instead, you might experience:
Chronic procrastination—even on things you want to do
Poor time management, lateness, or forgetfulness
Trouble finishing tasks or following through
Feeling overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities
“All or nothing” motivation—hyperfocused or completely frozen
Emotional reactivity and low frustration tolerance
Shame about being disorganized or inconsistent
These struggles aren’t due to a lack of effort. They stem from real differences in how your brain processes information, emotion, and reward.
The Emotional Toll of Undiagnosed or Untreated ADHD
Years of struggling can lead to a buildup of shame, self-doubt, and exhaustion. You may feel like everyone else got a manual for life—and you missed the handout.
Many adults with ADHD also struggle with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem, not because ADHD causes them, but because living in a world that doesn’t accommodate your wiring takes a toll.
What Helps
The good news? There are tools and supports that can make life feel more manageable.
Understanding your brain – Learning how ADHD works changes how you relate to yourself. You stop seeing your struggles as personal failures and start approaching them with compassion and strategy.
Structure and external supports – Calendars, alarms, body doubling, and even task-specific coaching can help externalize the “executive functions” your brain may struggle to manage internally.
Therapy and coaching – Working with someone who understands ADHD can help you learn emotional regulation skills, reframe your inner dialogue, and create systems that fit you.
Medication – For many, ADHD medication is life-changing. It can support attention, reduce overwhelm, and give you the space to implement new strategies.
You're Not Alone—and You’re Not Hopeless
Living with ADHD can be hard—but it’s not hopeless. The more you understand your brain, the more power you have to create a life that actually works for you. Not a perfect life—but a supported, meaningful, and more compassionate one.